10 days

A lot can happen in 10 days
1. You can forget what Facebook looks like, and they can change all of their privacy controls to be even more complex and confusing, so the second you log in again, you log out. Ultimately, you can conclude your life (and the world) could be better without all of this techclutter, a conclusion you made long before all 14 year olds had smartphones and buttdialing was not in the dictionary and no one believed in touchscreens.

2. You can re-believe in global warming. An earthquake AND a hurricane, New York. Seriously? If we wanted these things, we'd live in Miami or San Francisco. But no, the heavens spawn us with multiple disaster threats. Really, nothing goes wrong. In fact, you sort of wish you had felt the earthquake to tell a story about it. And you kind of wish Irene was less talk and more action. But, you still have a few good stories, and a renewed commitment to recycling and want to buy a Prius.

3. You can learn something new. Or a lot new. Best thing I learned from a camper: cold showers make you burn calories because your body is actively fighting off hypothermia. Fabulous workout technique.

4. Camp talent shows are generally of limited talent scope. They should just be called entertainment shows. Or lottery shows. Because, when you have 30 acts, you of course do a lottery to decide which acts are in or out. It really is a lottery system. Really. Promise.

5. Even at a peanut-free camp where you can only enjoy a Sunflowerbutter and Jelly sandwich to avoid the mysterious foods served, the canteen has Reeses. Complicated. Consider this next time you throw a birthday party. No peanut butter, no latex, no milk, no sun, no dust, no dirt - kids are allergic to everything these days.

6. A hook up for a 14 year old may just be a kiss on the lips. It could be the first of such kisses. And it only takes a hot sec for you to remember how totally nervous you were at the same place and time for the same deal, no matter how many years ago. The quiver in their voice and the wonder in their eyes is innocent perfection.

7. Parents + teens at camp + social media = dangerzone.  The second kids cry that they are homesick the first night, mom and dad take it out on Twitter. Why? I don't know. The internet is good for a lot, but I'm not sure about it's role in camp conflict resolution.

8. Power outages suck. Until it's so so so dark and you look up and see the most beautiful stars in the whole world, and you're convinced that the cold showers, social media fighting, proteinless food, long services, and crying campers were worth it a thousand and one times.

9. The kind of person who lives near a camp, also known as a townie, will always be a mysterious creature, another breed. The view of the lake is nice, but your beer belly, flabby bicep tattoos, and lip piercing will keep me far, far away from ever leading a rural life. You might escape city pollution but
be prepared to meet some real interesting folk. Or just watch them, and imagine their lives, because you're secretly intimidated or scared by how wildly different their lives are from yours.

10. Camp will always be the happiest place on earth. We should all live at camp and share and be friends. McCarthy, keep me off your list for now, but I'm getting close. Enjoying grilled cheese by a lake with 400 of your closest biddies is always fantastic.

I'll be booked at the end of next August, too... Irene or shine.